What happened to you? You look different! That’s what you hear when your inner world has changed. People ask you to describe where you are now, how does it feel; and you fail miserably. The words come out of your mouth, but they are out of place, you are not even sure the words are yours.
You try harder and resort to old metaphors but they don’t work anymore. The old language has broken down because the reality you are living in is brand new (although everything is in the same place and almost looks the same).
What has changed is your inner landscape. Your perception is different, the way you feel is different, your train of thoughts is different, but you don’t know how to explain this to others. You are still trying to understand what’s happening to YOU. Yes, even your sense of I is different. You feel the same and different at the same time.
Even when you begin to understand the change, you still have no words to describe it. You need a new language to communicate your new reality.
This process brings us back to childhood when we are already aware but have not yet mastered a language to communicate our experience.
As you become a child again, you start looking for and learning your new language. It is learning from scratch a new way to express yourself. There is something in you that wants to come out in words, but it doesn’t and you can’t. You are missing the words to do that.
At the same time the Voice spreads in your mind like spiritual wild fire, reformatting old experiences, reformatting the old YOU.
This Voice wants to communicate your new inner continents recently discovered: the massive landscapes of immaculate sharp perception. blazing ideas of mystical oneness, and overwhelming waves of bliss washing on your skin. Your eyes are opened in awe, savoring this marvelous ecstasy of being alive, but with words dry in your mouth; only a faint inexpressive sigh comes out.
Pause to Listen
The way out of this is to listen to the Voice. Yes, to Stop and listen to the Voice!. Pause and just listen. As your mind stills you begin to notice the tiny ripples of this newborn Voice, her whispers and caresses.
The more the mind is still the more the Voice make herself heard. Meditation and other practices help in this process.
As I learned to silence the mind beautiful things begin to happen. What follows is one of the pearls that came out . The birth of the Voice into words and its impact on me:
“In the beginning I couldn’t hear it. It felt far from me, distant, as on a cloudy misty morning. There were some faint echoes, reverberations of the original spoken word. My ears were shut with thoughts and ideas of future plans. There was no home inside of me to welcome this old friend.
The Voice didn’t give up and continued to follow me. Waiting… I was so busy that I didn’t know that I was being followed… from a safe distance. As time went by, I slowed down and let the light shine, filtered through my emotions, illuminating the darkness of my home.
Caressed by a gentle light breeze, roses began to bloom on my chest, and a shower of rose petals landed softly all over me. I was opening up. Now, I could begin to hear the Voice. It sounded clearer to my ears.
Although there was a sense of familiarity, the voice was still a stranger’s voice. It felt weak, not suited for a man. I was apprehensive, as the Voice began to spread through my mind with words and images, without control. The voice was taking over, and I was allowing it to be.
The Voice felt like a friend that you don’t know well enough, but you are willing to invite into your home. There was a sense of easiness and discomfort. Do I know the voice? The voice didn’t give up. Pushing forward in a soft and gentle manner, and the occasional waiting.
It was only when I gave shelter to the homeless child that the Voice took possession of me. Suddenly I was full, blooming light from within. Finally there was someone living inside the house. I was feeling at home, comfortable and cared for.
I could see the Voice now. The Voice never changed, all these years, it was I that couldn’t hear it. I was walking dumb, shouting for the voice without knowing that she was there, always beside me, in me.
Now, she opens the curtains and lets warm light flood all the rooms. Then, she sits besides me and speaks as lovers do. Her soft eyes gently touch my skin as I hold her and feel held by her. In her presence I get the feeling of absolute strength. It is a soft strong sense of being, never alone, and always loved.”
This is the birth of my Voice. I believe that each one of us has a Voice, a unique Voice, waiting to come out, and fill our lives with love and wisdom.
Find your Awakening Voice
If you felt some sort of reverberation reading the previous words, you know now that there is something in you that wants to come out too.
It takes time and patience to still the mind to allow your own Voice to surface, but when you do, you give birth to a part of you that you didn’t know was there.
When you meet the Voice there is no going back. She brings you the wisdom and compassion you have been looking for, and they are already in YOU, just waiting for you…